A Change your Mind to Change your Life Process
Yesterday, I found myself yakking with my friend and colleague, Patrice, about life, business, essences and the like . . . trivial little things like that. And little did I know that it would send me teetering on the verge of a radical life-change.
Patrice is an energy healer stuck in a corporate medical-model mindset. But she had just figured out that the medical model didn’t suit her way of healing, All I could say was, “DUH!”. Then a little venting on my part about how the medical model was unsuited to treat many diseases today, especially the core reasons behind many chronic inflammatory problems such as Irritable Bowel and Fibromyalgia, and still others that might lead to Heart Disease, Diabetes, and Cancer to name just a few.
Patrice then questioned what she actually did as a healer. Her ultimate goal is to help those who feel stifled and stuck in their corporate jobs to find a path to their dreams. And wasn’t quite sure how to integrate her counseling skills, corporate background, and intuitive powers to that end.
I then explained that I had the same type of problem. I was comfortable sharing my intuitive gifts with the acting community, and had done so for many years. But when it came to my nutrition practice, I was somewhat squeamish about revealing them. Even though I had great success healing people who couldn’t find relief anywhere else.
“You’ve still got that starving artist mindset,” she enlightened. “You think that you still need to work at something to pay the bills and that you can’t make money from what you really want to do. That’s why you attract these crazies (I had just shared with her that yet another consulting job was fast becoming a lose-lose and that I would have to bail at some point); they’re forcing you to take that leap and go for it! But first you have to change your mind and allow it in.”
She was totally right. As she always is. When Patrice discovers her own power, there’ll be nothing to stop her. The trick is to get there.
As a coach and intuitive, I’ve been attempting to find such a pathway for my clients forever. Now I’d like to finally change my own mind. I’m so sick of mentally being a starving artist even though it’s been years since I’ve actually been one. So I’m challenging you to do the same. Even if you’re currently enmired in a mindset that doesn’t suit you.
Here are some thoughts. I’m hoping they’ll actually turn into a viable process at some point. I’m going to go into more depth in future blogs, so check those out in the coming weeks if you’re interested. But here’s an overview of where my mind is going . . .
First, embrace the fact you’re going to be uncomfortable. And that what you might go through may be downright painful at times. But awareness often leads you there. It’s because you’re challenging and questioning those ancient autopilot beliefs like my starving artist one. And daring to look at them in a totally different way.
So why can’t we wake up magically changed or get a belief-lobotomy? We’re just not wired that way. Sorry! I love Karen Koenig’s thought in The Rules of “Normal” Eating:
DISCOMFORT + AWARENESS = CHANGE
So the first step to change is to get out of your comfort zone. And be willing to be aware of where you stuck your head in the sand. . It’s simple but not easy. And ultimately doable if you want to do it.
Second, find out your story or core image. What major experience has sidetracked you into an unfulfilled existence? Recently, I worked with a healer and uncovered a long-forgotten incident where I wrote a story for my elementary-school class. And my teacher insisted that I couldn’t have written such sophisticated script because I was so young. When I complained to my mother, she sided with the teacher. A short while later, I entered a huge writing contest with it and won second place! But the message that no one supported me in my creative endeavors has forever haunted me. And many years later probably also fueled that starving artist mindset.
Sometimes your story is etched into your consciousness as an image. One of my eating disordered girls remembers gorging on berries and throwing up scarlet and cyan all over a white rug. Did this image influence her later bulimic behavior? Most likely but these images are even more difficult to isolate and often engender deep emotional reactions to, say, white rugs, berries, and throwing up.
How do you figure out your core story? Well, I would work through all the exercises in Debbie Ford’s The Secret of the Shadow. In lieu of that, just start writing. I prefer my favorite fountain pen and a journal. But whatever works for you. Close your eyes before you begin, take in some ¾ breaths, hold for a count of two (my fave meditation breath), and then breathe out; repeat about three times.. Then here are some questions to ask yourself and write about:
- In what areas of my life do I feel frustrated, limited, or not getting everything I want?
- Who or what do I blame for this frustration?
- What addictive or destructive behaviors do I do to prove that I’ve been wronged or mistreated?
- What payoff do I get for being a victim or making others responsible for my reality? What do I get to deny or avoid?
- What excuses do I make to myself or others about why I can’t get everything I want?
- If I let go of these excuses, what feelings and experiences would I have to have that I haven’t before?
- If I could write a story . . . real or imagined . . . about what happened in my life to make me frustrated, limited, and everything else I just wrote about, what would it be like? Write it now.
To be continued . . .
Leave Your Comments About Poking Through Clouds to See the Light Below
Where are you stuck in your life? What’s your core story?