By Jill Place, The Acting Intuitive
Starving Artist Mindset = Career Suicide
How ya doin’? Have you worked through the questions and processes in the last three blogs yet? If you have, you may be a little shaky and confused right now. Because uncovering deep stuff about yourself can be a little daunting. Let alone finding a way to rid yourself of them once and for all.
If I could give everyone one gift, it would be to magically end the pain of self-victimization. I know we talked about that in #10, but let’s revisit it here. We’re so quick to blame others for our lot in life. Somewhere, somehow someone has done us wrong and we build up resentments. Resentments that keep us stuck and unable to move forward. And bound to the people and situations we hate the most. We may also abuse ourselves. Wonder why you can’t stop eating or won’t eat? Or develop other addictions or obscure forms of self-abuse?
All the time I was acting, I starved myself and wore the tightest jeans, hoping that they would reduce my Russian peasant hips. Then I would binge out of sheer hunger. And because I was one of those who obsessively worked on a role till I dropped, I also developed a panic disorder. Talk about self-abuse!
It’s most important for us to take responsibility for this abuse. Because no one else put those ancient abusive thoughts in our heads but us. Therefore, the first relationship we first need to explore is the one with our parents.
We also make excuses for why we can’t get where we want to go. Excuses like, “I’m a teacher who performs on the side”, “I’ll never go very high in my career”, or “I need a new coach because I’m mad at my old one”. These are actual words out of the mouths of my students and Clarity clients. The sad thing is that we embrace these excuses, which are children of our self-victimization, as the truth. They’re not . . . instead, they’re the cousins of fear.
So here’s what I’d like you to do. Grab your journal or a pad and begin to write down the most important people who you feel have wronged you. Don’t forget to start with your parents. Then make a list of excuses you make that keep you from finding your dreams. Ask yourself the following questions for each inspired by Debbie Ford’s book, The Secret of the Shadow:
What do I do and what addictions or other self-sabotaging behaviors do I use to show I’ve been victimized by this person?
What’s the payoff for dancing this dance and giving my power away to his person? What am I avoiding or denying?
Why do I need to hang onto my excuses? How many years have I been hanging onto them?
If I let go of these excuses, how would I feel and what other avenues could be open to me that I can’t drive down right now?
Once you do this, I’d like you to take some deep breaths, and take a few moments to sit or lie down or do the “Acting-Out” process I described in the last blog. You want to be open yourself to new possibilities right now! Take a few moments to picture those new possibilities you may have written about. See yourself getting that role or doing a great job with that scene. Wherever your next step lies in your career. See yourself as unstuck and soaring.
Then craft a mantra or affirmation like Debbie Ford’s:
Today I choose to take total and complete responsibility for my reality. AND I LIKE IT.
You can also put it in your own words. Actually, that would be better. Then post it on your phone, computer, or sticky notes all over the place. Then get ready for Part Three next week.
Play it to the MAX!
Leave your comments about STOP your Starving Artist Mindset, Part Two Below
Please share all or part of the experience of this process. If you’d prefer to keep the particulars private, then share how this has helped you ditch your Starving Artist mindset.